How to stop being CRULE to Yourself!

Who made your rules about you? Who decided how you were going to live, who you were going to be, and how you were going to get there? What CRULE jokes have you been playing on yourself? In today's PROcast we cover the CRULE jokes we believe about ourselves and how to create new rules for life!

Helping Leaders stop being CRULE

Are you a great leader or a mediocore leader? What are your CRULES (Chaotic Rules) for leadership? Do your CRULES make you cruel to yourself and your team? In today's PROcast we ask tough questions about our rules for leadership and how we can be the leaders we were meant to be

Helping Dollars Make Sense So Dollars don't become Cents!

What do you believe about money? How are you going to get creative with your money? In this PROcast we discuss our limiting beliefs about money, prosperity, and superheros!

It's Your Fault You're Not Rich!

Netropolitan is being lauded as the facebook for rich people. 

I love it! 

I think it's a great idea, I get why it's being considered by so many people and I'm not even part of the 1%...YET.  

I have every belief I will be and knowing where I'm going drives home Netropolitan's genius.    

It will grow in popularity until the next best thing comes along or until there's a shift in consciousness of epic proportions from the other 99%.  

Everyone has challenges,  Everyone.

Everyone has had something happen to them, everyone has a mother/father/dad-always-loved-you-best-sister, to blame for the wounds they carry.  

The wealthiest people in the world have the same challenges as everyone else, but they also have the weight of money behind them, in front of them and on top of them.   Everyone wants to feel good, everyone wants to celebrate, everyone is proud when they've accomplished a goal.

Netropolitan is for people who want to discuss and celebrate the finer things in life without being subjected to #firstworldproblem responses and snarky comments.

 I myself have been guilty of not posting a success in my life, because when I did, I was called to the carpet for my "insensitivity and bragging."

 My intentions were pure, I wanted my friends to feel joyful for me because I felt joyful for me.  If the roles were reveresed, I would have felt joyful for them.

When I stopped posting wonderful things about my life and my business, my business and life reflected it.

I had to make decisions about whether or not I was going to let the words of other people become the words that shaped my destiny.

Lucky for me, the core of who I am is proud.  and I love to celebrate even the smallest victories.

I've worked hard to get here, I work smarter every day and I have just as many people to blame as you do.

If we want to feel good inside, we have to celebrate when something good happens or our brains and our subconscious mind decide not to work anymore because really, what's the point?

Celebrate the joys in your life, loudly publically, proudly and if that makes other people feel bad about them, that is inside of them and it's their mountain to climb.

We will never have the net-neutrality that the "poor people's web" is clamoring for if the "rich people's web" is a happier more celbratory place.  

You get what you reflect.

Change starts with you and me.  What are you proud of today?  What success story do you want to share?  Do it here! You're safe and I promise to celebrate your successes as though they were my own! GO!

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

The 1 thing sabatoging your health and fitness!

Not very long ago, people grew up, graduated high school and you never saw them again until your high school reunion.  You knew it was coming and then depending on how you felt about you determined whether or not you went.

Maybe you did a crash diet or maybe you'd just written a New York Times best seller and you couldn't wait to see that girl in english class that had rejected you.  Either way, you went because you had something to prove and you also wanted to see how you stacked up against your classmates.

Social media has removed the mystery.  No longer are those 10, 20 or even 30 year high school reunions shrowded in mystery.   No longer do you leave the event looking confidently at your spouse saying "can you believe.....".  What does this transparency do to us and what does it do to our bodies?

Nowhere else are things as criticized as the state of a person's physical body.  No one would dream of walking up to someone and saying "So, I heard you lost your job, tough break" but they have no problem walking up and saying "Wow, you lost a hundred pounds, that's a whole person!" Health and fitness are important in my life and I hope in yours too.   I have witnessed first hand what negative toxic emotions, like those caused by bad relationships and comparing ourselves on social media, can do to the body.  A little over a year ago, my son was in a relationship with someone that was incredibly toxic and as a result my normally healthy, never had a problem with his weight, son put on 25 pounds in 2 months!

When the relationship ended the weight magically fell off.  What happened?  He hadn't changed his eating or exercise habits and literally you could see the weight falling off him.  From one morning to the next his weight dropped 5 pounds! With his permission, I have posted Before & After Pictures taken just 4 days apart.  

I wouldn't believe it either, but I saw it with my own eyes!

  

November 30, 2013

December 3, 2013

Our bodies are wonderous magical beings.  Designed to house us, with an overwhelming instinct to protect not only our physicality but also our spirtuality.

When we are surrounded by toxic people and negative thoughts, our bodies become heavy, like our spirits.  Unknowingly our wonderous bodies perpetuate the cycle of self loathing by adding weight (or other health challenges) to insulate us from the chaos within and the chaos without.

We all know stress can cause heart attacks, it causes fat attacks too.

If you're not at the health and fitness  level you want, is it your processed food diet? your intermittant exercise routine? or your constant toxic self talk?

You can't live in a sick environment and be healthy.

You can't beat up on your fragile spirit and ego and not expect your body to reflect it.

You can't let anyone else beat up on your spirit, your ego and your body either.

The Janay Rice situation has cast a harsh and wide light on a problem that should have a spotlight shined on it every day until every abuser abuses no more.

Removing for a moment the physical brutality of her situation, let's focus on the emotional brutality that he dishes out and she heaps on herself.

What must she think and how must she feel knowing that not only is her private life filled with terrible, awful moments, but now her terrible awful moments are publically shared and judged?

I feel bad for her.  I don't understand her choices, but I don't have to, and neither do you.  It's not our journey.  We all have our own paths to walk and demons to fight.

Janay Rice is a physically beautiful woman,  who knows what she does to combat the external effects of self hatred.

Again, not mine to judge, but, if you're not in the health you want to be in, ask yourself what you can change in your environment that will have a positive impact on you today?

Our lives are the sum of the memories and experiences in them,  life is far too short to be anything but happy and peaceful.  If you're being abused, emotionally or physically find your strength and get help.  Today.

You've only got this body for a finite amount of time, the time within it should be as wonderful as you yourself are.  You can do this!

Let's continue the conversation, What are you letting ruin your health? Comment Down Below!

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

Progression Recession

Have you been asleep 20 years? Did you forget to live in the process? In this PROcast we examine the Progression Recession, when we think we've made progress.

Leaders Are Creative

How do you lead? Do you look for innovative solutions or do you rely on proven stratgies? In this PROcast we explore creativity in leadership

Friday's PROCast! Let's Talk About Money!

How do you talk to yourself about money? Do you always have enough? Do you always have more than you need? In this PRO-cast we talk about money and our conversations with it, other people and ourselves

The Harsh Truth That is Key to Your Success

An Inventor?  Who grows up to be an Inventor? Necessity is the mother of invention and mothers are the Universal advocate and protector of children.  On the front page of the Houston Chronicle yesterday was an article about my friend, the inventor, Shelly Henry's amazing Neurolumen Device.  

Shelly's daughter was in a terrible car accident and she was told she would never have children, and never walk again.  And that was the day Shelly became an inventor.   You see, no one ever tells you when you are growing up that life will take you on a journey you didn't see coming.  No one ever tells you that you wake up one day and you're not sure who you are anymore.  

As children we are asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" not "Who do you want to be?'  

That fateful day that my friend's daughter was injured, what she wanted to be no longer mattered, who she was in those moments did.  

We are all faced with challenges, and moments that feel just awful.  Our greatness emerges when we've been spun in circles enough to rise up in the vortex, look over the chaos, and with quiet deliberation, brutal optimism, and battle wounds step onto our path.  

Not everyone does though, there are hundreds of thousands of people who sit down in the vortex and let the debris fly around them and then because the debris is so high and the injuries are so painful and the hole is so deep, stay there.  

Shelly is not that person, and if you are reading this, neither are you.  

You are someone who recognizes your strength, you are someone that grabs everyone else by the hand and leads the way, and you are someone that critically thinks instead of blindly accepts what other people accept for themselves.    

If Shelly had listened to the doctors her daughter would probably be in a wheel chair today.  But she's a PHYSICAL, that's WHO she is.  She couldn't sit there and DO nothing, she had to DO something.  She had to GET UP and FIND a way.  

True success is embracing your true self.  Success is defined in a myriad of ways, who you become is only defined by you.  

Let's continue the conversation, Who Are You? Comment Down Below!

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

The BFF You Need To Be A Success!

 I hate you! I love you!  I'm happy! I'm sad.  I'm hungry.  I'm (_______) fill in the blank and it is real.  Language shapes our Reality.  Period.  How we feel about the choices we make is solely dependent on the language we use to describe our experience.

If you put on last season's suit and your partner compliments you, do you say,  "Thank you" or do you have an internal frenemy that says "It's too tight, my butt is too big, it's the wrong color...blah blah blah....".  Does your frenemy undermine you?

If you had just said thank you and accepted the praise, then your brain would have had been forced to have a conversation that validated all those giddy feelings.

If you let your frenemy take up residence, then all your brain can do is draw attention to and remember how you THINK you used to look.   Which may or may not be true.

Life is about language and stories.  What story are you telling yourself that is shaping your reality? 

Are you cursing the rush hour traffic or  are you **greatfull**you have a car?  

Business relationships, mergers, and acquisitions are all essentially the same thing.   It's more than one entity coming together to make something bigger, not necessarily better, but bigger.

The words you use with your employees on that realtionship, partnership, merger, acquisiton, or hostile takeover directly impacts the success of the event and the team.  

The words you use with your children become their internal voices. Growing their vocabulary and your own gives everyone an opportunity to have more choices for better outcomes.

It's time to break up with the small minded Frenemy.  For success in life, relationships and business ,you have to make language your (BFF).   It alone has the power to frighten,  frustrate,  feed,  feel, and ultimately find you.  

Feeling Brave? Comment Below what Frenemy is moving out of your house today!

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

3 things you must do to be successful! (It's not what you think!)

I was flying home from NY today excited because I had just attended an incredible day-long conference. My plane landed and I grabbed my bag, I was doubly excited because I hadn't checked any luggage and I knew my honey would be outside waiting for me.  As the warm humid Florida air hit my face, I looked right and left for his car, and seeing no one, called his cell.  

After a few minutes of the "I'm standing under the green sign" conversation, he said "Sweetheart, go back in and grab a cup of coffee, I'll be there in 40 minutes.  I'm at the wrong airport."  

Has anything like this ever happened to you?  You're heading to a friend's house, your brain goes on vacation and somehow you're pulling up outside your office? You thought you were going one place and end up in another.  

That's The Progression Recession.  And it's so sneaky, it attacks when you least expect it, when you are busy, or stressed, or excited you look around and Ta-Da!  

This sneaky virus has been known to strike in your 20s, when your brain finally does come back from siesta, you're 35 years old with three kids, two car payments, a mortgage, aging parents and an extra 25 pounds. WHAT?!

Progression Recession is cancer to your life.  You've been so busy running the same cycles you forgot to LIVE.

The dreams you had when you were younger are just bittersweet memories that fall behind the more pressing need for school shoes.  

Now what?  You're up now and this is not the life you imagined!   Having an MPA will get you back on the fast track to living the life you deserve.

Mindset:  

Forgive Yourself.  So what, so you married your high school sweetheart and it didn't work out.  So you never finished college and your sister has her Masters Degree...from Harvard.   So you've found yourself repeating the same mistakes with the same type of guy since you left your high school sweetheart.  Forgive You.  You're Wonderful.  This is your journey, your lessons, your life.  Forgive You.

Love Yourself.  You can't love anyone else, including your children if you aren't loving yourself first. Even the airlines will tell you to secure your own oxygen mask before helping the people around you. If you aren't devoting some of your time to self care then the rest of this doesn't matter.  

Plan: 

Make a Plan.  So you want to open your own organic grocery store?  Learn everything you can about the grocery store business.  Learn everything you can about business.  You want to leave that husband who isn't kind to you? You've gotta have a plan.  You want to marry the man of your dreams?  You've gotta have a  plan. You want to be CEO of a publicly traded company?  You get the idea.

Never Stop Learning.  No matter whether you go to college, or online school, or you're self taught.  Read, listen to audio books, create your own course to learn the things you want to learn to grow the way you want grow to be the person you want to be.  

Action:  

My best friend once told me, three frogs are on a log, one decides to jump in the lake, how many frogs are on the log? Three.  A plan is nothing without the action to support it.  

A plan is a nice start, so is crawling before walking.  It's a beginning but it won't get you anywhere fast.  If you plan to open your own business, big damn deal.  We all make plans every day.  Nothing in our plans matters until we take ASTRONOMIC-GARGANTUAN-HOLY-CRAP-CAN'T-BELIEVE-I-AM DOING-THIS Action. 

Live begins at the end of the recession,  no one can live it for you.  Not even your sister and her MBA.  

         Comment Below, what's your MPA?

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

What you should be doing TODAY!

What would you do to live your dream? What would you sacrifice? What would you give up? Would you give up time with your family? Would you give up money? Would you travel by trains, planes and automobiles to learn?


As I sit here in a coffee shop in New York City, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm traveling all over the country learning as much as I can to be the best me I can be. I and my very supportive family is investing in me. Do you have anyone in your life that believes in you when you don't believe in yourself?

I spent time with a friend yesterday at the Bay in Long Island and she and I waded out in the water and picked up hermit crabs. There were tons of children gathered around and before long, they were gathered around her as she showed them the "big crabs with the fancy shells". It took no imagination at all to see that she has a gift a true gift with children. Her own son benefits from her obvious talent and when I suggested she share her gift and be a teacher, she said "there are no jobs". It made my heart hurt for her.


Passion only has one way to communicate with us, it's called Talent. Talent is your spirit's way of shedding light on your passion and desire.


Too often we get caught up in our internal dialogue of why we should do something, how we should behave, who we should be, what we should want and where we should find our happiness. You can spend a lifetime of "should-ing" all over yourself.


Steve Jobs said,
“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

If money were no object, and you knew you could not fail, what would you do? When are you limitless?  When does time fall away?  Who would you become?   When would NOW be a good time?

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

Want to Love Your Life? Ask Yourself This Question!

Imagine you are sitting in a large room with all the people in the world today. In front of you is a large carboard box that is taped on all sides so you can't see in.

Seated next to you is your neighbor, next to her is your mother, next to your mom is Kevin Durant, on the other side of you is Warren Buffet, and next to him is Arianna Huffington.  

As you look around the sea of faces, you wave at those you recognize.  Everyone in the room has a box just like yours. As you sit there, you see a sharply dressed tall woman walking to the middle of this enormous room and everyone falls silent and finally, She asks everyone to stand up, and hold their box out in front of them.

You along with all the other people pick up your box.  It's fairly heavy, some people don't seem to have any trouble picking their box up and some people are shaking under the weight.

Once everyone is standing, she says,"Inside the box is your journey, your ongoing struggles, your current and future problems, your secret vices, your health challenges, your true loves, your true passions, your past, present and your future."  

As you look around the room, you wonder what's in other people's boxes.  She continues, "Today you have the chance to exchange boxes with anyone else....

What do you do?  Do you keep your life, or do you exchange it for someone else's?  

Many people might say they would have loved to have had Robin Williams seemingly charmed life, but now we know he had demons we can't comprehend.  

The journey we are on is a personal one and one that has many companions along the way.  Sometimes those companions are joy and achievement and sometimes they are failure and loss.   

Language shapes our experiences. What you tell yourself about yourself shapes the experience and quality of your life.   If you are loving and kind in your internal language, you will in turn be loving and kind with other people.  How you operate in the world constructs your world.  What you do with your time forges your destiny.  Who you choose to spend time with dictates the companions you will have along the way. We are all on this journey together, no one's journey is seamless, when you hit a dead end, it's not the end, it's a Universal Course Correction.  

So again, I ask you, would you keep your box? Comment below and let's continue the conversation.  

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

One Habit That Will Immediately Improve Your Life

Walking on the beach this morning, my best friend and I were having one of those "can you believe....and then he said....." conversations.  She was frustrated with her husband because he is "unteachable".  She thinks that any advice she gives him falls on deaf ears. 

Have you ever felt that way?  That no matter how much you try to gift your guidance with your spouse, or your children or God-Forbid your mother they don't listen?  What do you do when that happens?  

Do you argue with them until you brow-beat them into submission?  Do you think or say " I told you so" after things work out EXACTLY as you said it would? Or do you just offer advice and let it go?  

For me, with everyone except my family, my policy is, 'If I've told you not to run in front of the bus and you run in front of the bus anyway, it's your fault.  I warned you.'

Allow me to reiterate, that policy is in effect with everyone EXCEPT my family.  

Is that how you are with your family?  As I asked my best friend this morning, is her husband really unteachable or just unteachable by her?  

Communication is the process of sending a message and the receiver receiving that message, interpreting  the meaning, and accepting or rejecting the message.   As a communication speaker and thought leader, I speak on that invisible boundary and  I am ***greatfull***for the people that tell me how my talks, blogs, or training helped them in their business and personal lives.

Then why doesn't my family delight in my doctrines? Or your family delight in yours?

The same reason my friend's husband doesn't.   Powdered Butt Syndrome [PBS].

Your mom powdered your butt, therefore she is not teachable by you.   Instant credibility loss when someone has seen you at your best and your worst.

The habit you must adopt for PBS?  Get Over It.

No matter how much you learn, no matter how many degrees you have, no matter how much success you obtain, you're still their child, their spouse, their parent and they are not teachable by you.

Today's challenge:  The next time someone you love tries to teach you something, ask yourself:  If a stranger on the street was sharing this information with me, would I receive it differently?

When is the last time you had PBS?  Share in the comments below! 

***I realize that I’m the only one in the world who spells greatfull the way it should be: 

GREATFULL=Full of Great***

Share your comments down below! 

Seanlai Cochrane is a leadership & communications expert that shows you how to win the game of life and business by helping you communicate best with the people that matter most.

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  

Phone 405-314-8716 
fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

#seanlaic #proclivities 

Want greater success? The one person you must know.

My husband, Jason and I were outside eating dinner on the water at this lovely little restaurant here in south Florida.  We had just gotten our drinks when the table next to us got their desserts and coffee.  A self-proclaimed coffee snob, I listened to them talk about work and when the bill came, figure out the tip.  

My husband gave me a strange look, and it was then that I realized I had been hyperfocused because they were speaking in German.     

My dad was military, so I spent my teen years in Nurnberg Germany and was once fluent in the language. 

Sitting next to those people, I only caught about every third word and found myself translating it back into English.  For anyone fluent in more than one language, you know that when you're in the midst of a conversation, you think in the language you are speaking.   

The couple got up and after taking a few standard tourist pictures, left.  But not before I had strained to hear every word they spoke in an effort to test my rusty skills.  They were obllivious.  

How did they miss me leaning in as they spoke?  How did they not catch me staring? Why couldn't they hear me repeating their words to Jason?  Everyday, we run as fast as we can speaking, thinking, eating, working and we make grand assumptions that everyone around us is on the same page, and when they aren't we act shocked and conflict ensues.  

Something's wrong with THEM you say, THEY don't listen,  why don't THEY change?  

When planning your strategy for success, remember, it's not about them; it's always about YOU.

It's up to you to write your story, with your pen.  If you're going to live an extraordinary successful life, you have to have extraordinary communication.   Virtual Google Translate only works in the movies.  

When is the last time you had to decode someone's untranslated message?  What happened?  Feel free to brag about your success in the comments!

Seanlai Cochrane is a rockstar communication speaker that helps leaders play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic 

What Peter Drucker Should Have Said

Peter Drucker stated that 60% of all management problems result from faulty communications. With all due respect to the late Mr. Drucker's genius, he's wrong.

What he should have said, is ALL problems result from faulty communications.

In business, in personal relationships, in life,  communication and connection are the essence of what we do and who we are. 

So, whether you are meeting with your boss, your employees, or your spouse, these three tips will put the brakes on communication break down. 

1. It's not all about you:  Get out of your own shoes and step into theirs.  Come out from behind the desk and sit in front of it.  Go to the project site and walk it with a new set of eyes and ears.  What don't you know?  What didn't you see before? Who haven't you talked to ? What have you been missing sitting in your chair?

2. You don't know everything:  The people on your team are on your team  because they have the skill set to perform.  Ask questions, listen, and then ask better questions. Listen again, if you are just waiting  to speak you're really not listening are you? No one wants to go off half-cocked, not even you.

3. Learn their Proclivity: Proclivities are those fascinating traits that determine how we operate.  We all show up differently in the world and that difference directly impacts our communication style.  What is it that makes your people tick?  How can you best motivate and mentor them?  What brilliance do they briing that you haven't even tapped into yet?  How are you supporting  their growth?

Don't change what they do, change what you do so they change what they do. Great leaders know that if they want to accomplish anything they have to get buy-in.  Their team must feel they've got their back AND their front.

Let the expert be the expert.  We can't be the expert in everything, so if you want to have greater success in business and life,  your communication has to be top notch.

Information is coming at us faster than ever before, and in today's rapidly changing world climate not mastering the art of effective communication is like trying to drive through Miami in rush hour traffic using a moped.  And really, who wants to be next to a ferrari when you're driving a moped?

When is the last time you got out of your own way and what happened when you did?  Feel free to brag about your success in the comments!

Seanlai Cochrane works with leaders who want to play like a PRO and keep their talent, grow profits, and power by the competition.  

Want to hire Seanlai to speak at your next event?  Call her at 405-314-8716 fax 405-471.5646, 

email: seanlaic@gmail.com

Connect with Seanlai on Linkedin or twitter @seanlaic