Networking: Flying Solo or Wingman in Tow?

Recently I participated in a lively discussion regarding networking.  Essentially the question posed was Should you have a "networking marketer" or in other words, should you bring a wingman to events to network with and for the benefit of you?

As a self proclaimed introvert living in an extrovert's body, my immediate response was YES! and somehow I thought that everyone else would agree.  Clearly this is not the case.  People wrote in and said noone can network for you and we've all heard over and over again the bar and the evening after-conference events are always where the real networking happens and that's all true.  However, what conferences remind me of is the first day of school in a new school.  When you're the new kid, you don't know who the cool kids are, you don't know if you'll like your new school, whether you'll make any friends at all and let's not forget the dreaded first lunch when you don't know who to sit with.  Conferences are like that for me.  I don't know anyone yet, I'm not sure I fit, and that first night down at the bar I'm not sure I even want to be there!   And then, just like in school someone flashes a welcoming smile, a few words and before you know it, you're having a wonderful time and you don't even really remember why you were so nervous.  At least that's what you hope will happen.  What if it doesn't?   What if you're all alone throughout the entire conference, no one ever talks to you, you make no connections, no friends and you sit night after night alone in the conference hotel bar waiting for someone to talk to you?  That's what you fear will happen isn't it?  But that really doesn't ever happen does it? 

Not if you're willing to be the first person to flash that welcoming smile, not if you're willing to sit next to a stranger in a break out session and make small talk, not if you're willing to put yourself out there, even just a little bit.  

When I started this blog, I started it with the intention of pointing out all the reasons that having a networking marketer was a great idea, but as I researched it and thought about it and reflected on my own conferences, I realize that perhaps having a networking marketer with you will only keep you from stretching, from stepping outside of your comfort zone and planting you firmly in the midst of massive vulnerability where true joy and satisfaction are born.  

So at your next conference, might I suggest going down to the bar, flashing a welcoming smile, and asking to join the group that's from your conference, they're just as nervous to be there as you are.